Focus On Priorities!

by Nadia Pressage

It is a good thing to be in Love with someone because it allows you to feel alive and we all need to be reminded that we are. It is also good to have a life. A life means a job that provides a paycheck that buys food that sustains your body that keeps you living to be able love someone.

A beautiful girl once came to America and decided to call it home. She realizes in order to stay in this country she would need legal documents. At the immigration office she ran into a security guard who talked her into marrying a friend of his. She thought this would be a great arrangement even if she is not in love with the guy it would allow her to be a legal resident of this country. A couple of months go by and she marries the man who promised her legal status. Meanwhile she took every job night or day to save up enough money to give him and pay the bills of the house. He travels a lot to the Caribbean on business. He tells her business is bad. Within a year he disappears. The papers that were filed for her alien registration card allowed her to have working privileges, thank God! She continued to work and feed herself. Eventually she moved out to a more affordable studio apartment.

In her loneliness she befriended a man who treated her well and for some reason fell in love with the guy. Though she later found out he was a married man she could not part with him. The affair lasted 3 years. When she realized he had more than 2 other girls like her on the side she called it quits. Our beautiful girl began to date all kinds of men. Some would give her money to help her some were married and could never take her out to any place public. Every couple of months something happened that she would be forced to end the relationships and find a new mate. Years went by like this and our girl never realized that what she needed to stay in this country she was not searching for. She continued to live as if she were free to be in America regardless of the consequences.

With every phone call her parents pleaded with her to come back home. Her mother prayed she would return to her country and pursue a career but she refused. In the meantime 4 years had gone by and the last request for work permit renewal was denied. Apparently she no longer had a pending request for legal status because the man had divorced her. What does she do now? Our beautiful girl has no skills. She never bothered to take an English course while she had a temporary working permit. She never tried to learn any skills like nursing assistant or even typing which would allow her to work anywhere.

Keep in mind people: If you do not have a plan of action when you get to America it will swallow you up.

Determine what you want to do with your life and the steps needed to get you there
List the prerequisites to achieving your goal and accomplish them one by one
Check off as you accomplish them
Focus on what your priorities are don't just think write them down and carry the little piece of paper with you always. Goals are much clearer when you can read them

In this case our beautiful young Caribbean girl should have realized that she needed to date single men not married ones
Men with jobs not travelers
Men that are US citizens not residents without a bank account
Her priority should have been clear
Loving a man in the US is one thing
Having the clearance to stay in the US and be with him is another

Nadia Pressage / CHIN CHAT
chinkchat@aol.com